Sue & Tom – Our” Luv Story”!
We believe we were just always meant to be together.
I’d spent my entire growing up years in 1 house in the SF Bay Area, the 3rd of 4 siblings. Tom, the eldest of 7, had grown up mainly in Spokane, WA., but had lived in 7 houses by the time his family ended up in the Bay Area when he was 12. Both our families were devout Catholic.
In 1966, I was a sophomore @ Presentation, in Berkeley-an all-girls Catholic HS. Tom was a senior at nearby Salesian, an all-boys Catholic HS. We met at the Sweet 16 Birthday party of one of my wealthier classmates. She had invited all 105 girls in our class, and all the boys at Salesian! (Tom’s sister, Mary Jo was also one of my classmates, so I knew of him.) The party was held in one of the banquet rooms of the Richmond Auditorium— (a complex my Grandfather, a well-known architect, had a hand in designing!). As a result of moving so much, Tom had been “the invisible man” @ Salesian but was finally coming out of his shell. This party was the first dance he’d ever attended.
I was supposed to go with my 8th grade “boyfriend”, but got a call at the last minute, saying his Dad had been called in to work, & there was no way the boy could make it. I was devastated, as I’d gone to a lot of trouble to get ready. I had a new green dress & accessories—but most important, I was wearing a brand-new wig. (I’d lost all my hair at 14 due to Alopecia & had worn a wig ever since. It was rusty red—and short.) My new wig was blonde, & shoulder length. I wore it in a “flip”. It was going to be my big reveal at this party! Tho I considered not going, my mom insisted that I do, after all my preparations. (Good move, Mom!)
It was a huge party, & the ballroom was hopping with music! Tom was being introduced to a semi-circle of 5 girls, — I was one of 2 “Sue”s in that group. Tom says he focused on me w/my blonde hair, bright green dress, & “never even saw the other girls”. We had a wonderful time dancing that night! Exactly 1 month to the day later, on Jan. 9th, 1967, he called me for the first time. He asked if I was going to the Friday the 13th Day dance at my school 4 days later? I told him I was. He asked if I was going “stag or drag”, & I answered “stag”. (I was a month short of turning 16 & wasn’t supposed to date 1 on 1 until then.) He asked if I would like to go with him! Woo Hoo! It so happened that our mothers worked at the same bank, downtown. My mom felt comfortable with my going out with Tom because of that. Tom & I had SO much fun that night! We seemed to have an immediate rapport. Friday the 13th was very lucky for US!
One week later, Tom asked me if I’d like to go to his upcoming Senior Ball! Though I still wasn’t quite 16, my mom got excited at the idea of getting me the fancy dress, et all. So I got my folks’ blessing. One week after that, Tom asked me if I wanted to “go steady”. I told him I did! My mother’s comment, being excited about the anticipated big shopping adventure, told me I could “go steady just until the Senior Ball”. It was kismet. We were a couple!
The Viet Nam war was raging as Tom prepared to graduate High School. As the men in Tom’s family were Navy men, he signed up for the Navy Air Reserves, before his graduation in June. This meant he was going to be leaving for at least 6 months. For love-struck kids, this was going to be rough! And it was. Everyone told us that if we could handle this separation, it would be a good sign that we were meant to be together. But that was still hard to hear. We wrote each other every day as he went through boot camp in Memphis, & spent the next 5 months training in Jacksonville, Florida. Sometimes we wrote more than once a day. While in Florida, he picked out & bought my engagement ring, using a good portion of his paychecks toward payment on the yellow gold solitaire-which was the style I liked. He excelled in the Navy, being trained as an Aviation Electrician’s Mate. He couldn’t afford to come home for Christmas, which made the 6½ months seem like an eternity. The day finally came that he was flying home to San Francisco! It was hard for me to concentrate on school that day. While Tom was en route to SF, he changed planes in Memphis, where someone assassinated Martin Luther King, that day! The country went into hysteria! People were out in the streets in Berkeley, rioting, resulting in the bus system which I used to get to & from school, being shut down! My Sweetie would be home that evening, & I had to figure out how to get home! The world was in turmoil, but all I could think of was my Tom. Fortunately, his homecoming was not delayed, & we were a couple again! We’d made it through the long separation. Bliss!
I finished my junior year, & wedding plans began for September 1969, after I graduated. Tom, not yet 21, was embarrassed that he had to have his Dad go with him to get our marriage license. I was now 18 & didn’t need a parent’s signature.
Tom was working on the docks, at Blue Chip Stamps in Richmond. He got a huge discount on all the catalogue merchandise, & we were able to buy lots of furniture & household items at a fraction of the price. My bedroom at home looked like a furniture warehouse!
In planning for the wedding, my mother was enraptured at the idea of going shopping for my dress! My older sister had been married “outside the church”, as had my brother. So our families were thrilled with our union—even tho we were very young. To my mother’s huge disappointment, I loved the very first dress I tried on. It was perfect.
We were married at my parish, St. David’s, on September 13th. We figured it was a lucky date for us! Half my class from PHS were there! Most of Tom’s relatives lived far away, so there were few people on the right side of the church. But everyone filled in. He & his groomsmen wore white dinner jackets – looking smashing, & my girls wore powder blue. It was perfect.
We splurged on a honeymoon. I was on an airplane for the first time as we flew to Anaheim & stayed in the Disneyland Hotel! Tom has forever told people that
“We had a Mickey Mouse honeymoon”. We had SO much fun! It was perfect.
We settled into a little house in nearby San Pablo.
Tom had moved in early July, 1969.
We watched the moon landing, as we were preparing the house!
On September 16th, 2 years later, we welcomed our 9 lb. 13½ oz daughter, Jennifer Gayle. Jeni had health problems. She had vision issues, & was born with a congenital hip, which required her wearing a cast & a brace beginning at only 4 weeks old! It was scary for new parents, & we got advice from everyone, which frustrated me no end. Tom had always talked about how he loved growing up in Spokane. “It isn’t Christmas, without snow” he told me all the time. Finally, one night, I burst out, “Okay, let’s move to Spokane!” I wanted to get away from all the unsolicited advice. He quit his job the next day! I was shocked.
My family was distraught at the thought of our leaving with Jeni only 6 months old with health problems. I’d never been away from my family before! But by March, we were in Spokane, & Jeni was in the care of Shriner’s Hospital. But I was HOMESICK for family. It was a tough adjustment for someone who’d been in snow exactly twice in my life. Tom’s family had moved back to Spokane, so we had their love & support. I was shocked to learn that snow didn’t fall carefully on sidewalks & parking lots, instead leaving all the markings covered in snow! It was a whole new world for Sue!
With all Tom’s experience & interest in electronics, landing a job at Spokane Transformer Co. was perfect for him! He began in the testing department, became manufacturing supervisor, working his way up through purchasing, marketing, & named a vice president within 5 years. Tom’s outgoing personality & innate understanding of transformers made him a natural in the field. Once in sales & marketing, he began traveling regularly.
Our son, Tommy, was born 2 years after Jeni. He weighed 9 lbs at birth—exactly the same as Tom had. (BTW, Tom was due on Easter Sunday in 1949—and he was BORN on Easter Sunday. He is always ON TIME to this day! Which oft times has driven me crazy. But he has an uncanny ability to arrive at places at the precise time he’s said we would. He never fails!
Our little family adjusted to Tom’s traveling. I’d become secure in driving in the snow & settled in to do the Room Mother thing with our kids as they entered school. When Tom was home, we always did fun things with the kids. There were fossil beds just outside Spokane, and TR, as our son preferred to be called by then, was fascinated with dinosaurs. We spent a lot of happy days digging in the fossil beds & finding treasures. Following my mother’s example, I loved making everyday things FUN! Any excuse to party was the norm. (Still is!) Get out the green decorations for St. Patrick’s Day, make gingerbread houses during Christmas, & sparklers & star-shaped cookies & festivities for the Bi-Centennial. I’d taken cake decorating at one point and could decorate elaborate cakes or cookies for family get-togethers and for the kids’ classmates. I became the ever-present room mother at school who was known for the fancy cookies—and always having a camera in hand to capture all the fun.
The grammar school years were rough emotionally on all of us. Though in a Catholic school, Jeni was bullied endlessly for her near-sightedness, & slight gimp. Tom & I battled the school & parents on behalf of Jeni for years. In the meantime, we did our best to make life at home, happy & fun. We saved up for 2 solid years, to take the kids to Disneyland where we’d honeymooned. THAT was the greatest fun! (My love for Disney’s Goofy since I was a kid, led to some embarrassing moments for the kids, as I chased down “Goofy” to get my picture taken with him!) The trip was perfect.
When Jeni was a sophomore in high school, Tom’s current company was closing its plant in Spokane in favor of a new location in North Carolina. We had just sunk every penny we had into building a brand-new house. There was work for Tom, if we moved to North Carolina. We knew no one there. Our families were in the West. Tom didn’t feel the job was secure there. One Sunday, there was an ad in the Spokane newspaper, looking for someone with experience in Power Transformers. We always said they might as well have just started the ad: “Dear Tom, this is your job.” Tom’s answering of the ad resulted in an all-expenses paid trip to Medford, Oregon, where we were wined & dined, & Tom was offered the job. It sounded perfect! As we boarded the return plane to Spokane, we were casually told the job wasn’t in Oregon—it was in the rust belt of Ohio!
This began a really difficult time for us. If we chose to go to North Carolina, that company would buy our house. But worried that we could get stuck back there, with his position already held by someone else, we faced a terrible dilemma. The company with the Ohio offer would not buy our home, but there was a promise that if Tom did really well setting up the Ohio office, that he could end up back at the Oregon plant. Our families were in the West. That’s where we wanted to be. We put our faith in God & made the wrenching decision to move to Ohio. We convinced the kids it was going to be great! (We’d been flown back there to check it out. It wasn’t great.) We’d have new adventures! Which we did. We always say that “the best part of living in Ohio, was all the places we got to see—away from Ohio!” We went to Niagara Falls, drove down to Disney World in Florida. ‘Drove up & visited NYC, – going to the top of the World Trade Center for the view. We drove up to Boston, & Tom & I were in Cheers on Thursday night, when the show was on the air! So began our love affair with Boston, – and traveling. That was the good news. The bad news was that our home never sold in Spokane, & we were in danger of bankruptcy. We ended up deeding it back to the bank, instead. Those were scary, scary, times.
Tom did such an outstanding job in Ohio, though, that we made it to Oregon in 3 years! A pretty much even split, distance-wise between our two families. We settled in Medford easily, and have been here for 30 years. In all Tom’s travels, he still says it’s the very best city to live in, and I agree.
Something very interesting continued throughout the years. Both Tom & I loved the mountains, & early on, we decided that if we made it to 25 years of marriage, we would splurge and go to Switzerland, to hike (& to photograph!). Tom always says it was easy to tell me, “Sure, we’ll go to Switzerland. Who knew we’d make it that long?!” J My mother had been given a painting by one of her customers at the bank where she worked. I grew up looking at the serene lake, with a castle on one shore, & tall mountains in the distance. Tom & I loved that painting, & as it was not a favorite of Mom’s, she gave it to us. We put it over our sofa, & gazed at it every day, thinking it must have been someone else’s idea of what Switzerland must look like.
As our 25th anniversary actually approached, Tom teased that this was going to cost a lot of money! But I wasn’t letting him out of the promise we’d made to each other! The long-awaited adventure began, & before long we were riding in a train along Lake Geneva, with the Alps in the distance growing closer. We were headed for Zermatt, to see (and photograph!) the Matterhorn. Suddenly, Tom got all excited, pointing to a castle that was ahead on one shore. “THAT’s our painting!!! THAT’s our painting! It’s a real place!!” And it is! “Chateau de Chillon”! All those years, & here was confirmation again, that we were absolutely meant to be together. Clearly, it was in God’s plan. 3 days into that trip, staring out our balcony at the Matterhorn, Tom asked me, “WHY did we wait 25 years to come here??” In the years that followed, Tom’s traveling for business, garnered a LOT of air miles. We returned to Switzerland 7 times in all—most of those flights were 1st class, for free! We felt so at home in Switzerland. We loved the hiking. I loved the photography. Tom loved the high altitude, — I’m afraid of heights. Okay, so we had one difference. While he was carefully climbing, I’d look the other direction & take photos of something else. It worked out!
Tom is the most amazingly generous & patient husband. Once the kids were grown & on their own, our trips ended up with me taking pictures of Tom, & Tom taking pictures of me, with the occasional the two of us together in a photo if a stranger (& usually poor photographer) agreed to snap one of us. Our trip photos began looking boring. At some point, that fondness for Goofy, lead me to begin taking one of my numerous, small stuffed Goofy’s with us, everywhere we traveled. I began posing Goofy in different places, & taking his photo, totally unfazed by the folks that would stare at me and laugh. Sometimes Tom would wander off and pretend not to know me, & other times, help out with posing my stuffed Pal. Goofy has been captured on the Matterhorn, on the Eiger, & posed with Swiss cows. He’s flown First Class in his own seat! Ever see a TSA agent laugh?? Add New Orleans, Boston (where he’s been to 2 Red Sox games!), Minneapolis, & countless other cities & sites. Diamond Head? He’s been to the top! And Tom has laughed & loved me through it all. We’ve never stopped having fun together, no matter how mundane the task at hand might be. He often has me laughing in the morning before I even open my eyes. How great is that!
We’ve had our trials over the years for sure. I was diagnosed at only 42 with severe rheumatoid arthritis, which shook our world for quite a while, until it became the norm. Tom changed all the doorknobs & sink knobs in the house to “gimp handles” for me.
In the later years of his transformer career, he had an especially vicious boss. Tom had been hugely successful for many years, as VP of marketing at this company, and LOVED what he did. In protecting his people from this monster of a boss, Tom bore the brunt of the cruelty. 3 years before retirement age, Tom had to leave his job after being diagnosed with PTSD. It broke his heart. It broke mine to see him. Within 3 months, that boss was fired, with the upper management being told that Tom would still have been with the company if not for that tyrant. With Tom’s vast transformer knowledge being absolutely invaluable, Tom was brought back to do consulting for the company for 6 years. Perfect!
With both of us now retired, life is awesome. Tom now lives to make sure our yard & house far outshine Greg Jones’ place across the street. Yep. He’s been “keeping up with the Jones’s” for 30 years & continues to triumph! We spent 9 years volunteering with the local Arthritis Walk. We designed the 1 mile & 5K courses, set them up with signs, markings, & balloons, cheered at the speeches, & went back & picked up all the signs & balloons. I collected things for raffle baskets all year long, helping to raise funds. There are so many kids with RA, & we felt as though we were paying it forward in helping them. We get to travel once or twice a year, with trips to our beautiful Oregon Coast thrown in. Wherever we go, we enjoy seeing it together, Tom is always patient while I shoot more pictures, & I delight in making these memories into custom photo books. These books are proof of the legacy of love & laughter we continue to share. Won’t Maui be a perfect place to celebrate that?!
Sue, March 6, 2019
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3-18-19 Sue & Tom – Luv Story Blessing
A Luv Story Blessing as Enchanting as a Disney Movie
Your Luv Story reads like an enchanting Disney Movie!
Starting with your inspiring first line:
We believe we were just Always Meant to be together…
In this materialistic world… all we allow ourselves to know as ‘real’…
Is what our brains perceive as… ‘real’.
When all it has to work with is ‘tingling amorphous vibrations’
coming from the sense organs.
Once in the brain, all our biases, likes, dislikes and predjusies filter those signals into a reality that is certainly not the ‘real’ one.
We perceive all such things as real… rocks, sand, water, air… as perceived…
Also,
All the drama of this life, getting a job, losing a job, even when our body gets shot…
Life and death of the body…
It’s all made up of material things that can be effected by the harsh realities of this life.
But!
Love is different!
Love is NOT a materialistic object…
Therefore,
Love can never be effected by the harsh realties and drama of this materialistic world.
Love is timeless.
Eternal Maui Marital Bliss is beyond the harshness of this challenging world.
Find that Sanctuary within…your ‘Center’…
Where you can abide in unperturbable Peace and Stillness of Inner Peace.
There,
All the love you have is there for you boundlessly.
Regardless if your love is now in the moment or
A fond memory…
Love is Love and never dies.
———————————————–
At the core of our Catholic Hearts, there is a strong inspiration
to connect with the most meaningful aspect ourselves and all that there ‘Is’.
There is an ineffable nature to Divinity we all are compelled to Abide in.
The feeling of a deep calming Bliss while in silent contemplative prayer.
We feel like that Bliss is meant to be.
There is a surprising amount of ‘coincidences’ in life,
that seem like they are against all odds… yet, just happen.
The more in touch with spirit, the more these apparent ‘coincidences’,
begin to feel more like Sacred Synchronicities.
For there is an inner connection with all that there ‘Is’.
Everything is part of the Divine Creation
and when we abide in that subtle connection
we feel the Bliss in the Perfection of everything that ‘Is’…
As it was… meant to be.
All the random moves Tom’s family made,
brought you both closer & closer together
then the first big dance and Sue’s escort to the party somehow…
couldn’t make it…
Perhaps it was Divine Intervention that called that boy’s Dad to work…
Allowing ‘Density’ to unfold…
As it was… meant to Be.
First date on Friday the 13th :-O
Turns out that you debunked that myth!
During our Sailing adventures,
many myths & superstitions still abound amongst the modern sailors
A number of times, when the conditions were
as good as they get to leave for a long passage,
we’d head out on a Friday, and at least one on the 13th,
while all the other sailors dared not mess with the myth.
“Myths” have a way of keeping folks scared and in the dark.
Be bold! Take charge of life! No matter what day it is 😉
And your Disney movie Luv Story continues with your
‘Mickey Mouse Honeymoon’!
I remember as a kid the pricy admission was about $3 bucks to get in…
Now it’s nearly $300 :-O
When the neighbors get a wee bit too ‘persnickity’ with unwanted advice…
It’s good to haul anchor and set sail for a more pleasant anchorage.
Sue and Tom spontaneously made the decision
to make the big move to Spokane
Quitting one’s job takes heaps of inspiration,
And also points to the ‘Divine way’…
One doesn’t need to think… when they Know.
Spontaneous is the ‘Divine way’.
Again, the synchronicities of Sacred connections we can only be in ‘awe’ of
For Tommy & Tom to both have been born on the same day,
And that day to be a Sacred day.
The ineffable ‘Ways’ of the Great Mystery often leave us in a Blissful ‘Awe’
Your Ohio experience sounds a wee bit like my St. Louis years…
I’d always say… “It’s a great place to be From, not go to“ :-O
Your Switzerland experiences are almost surreal!
Two peas in a perfect pod of Luv…
The king of humor and the queen of fun…
And I quote from your Luv Story…
“How great is that”
Our challenges are a part of Divinity
Even when they don’t feel all that ‘Heavenly’ at the time.
Once we Transcend the challenge, we are one step closer to the Divine.
Our Unconditional Love, Joy, Compassion and Equanimity becomes
a Natural Bliss that cannot be affected by material issues.
Regarding Tom’s bad “boss” … the Divine perspective is…
Bad people are here to make the rest ‘Good people’.
The ‘bad boss’ did not have parents that properly instilled
ethics, morals and virtue.
and society has not yet caught up with collectively instilling the basics of
how to just get along properly…
The power ego driven narcissistic perspectives of ‘bad folks’
will evaporate as we all collectively evolve into a Higher Consciousness
by teaching our children, and they teaching theirs…
To embrace a larger and expanding circle of Humanity with unconditional love.
So even though retired…
You are not just sitting on the sofa letting life go by…
Helping those with arthritis is truly a Divine service to Spirit.
All those folks get to let their spirits fly by your help to connect to all there ‘Is’
With the exhilarating movement of the Body,
Which stimulates the Mind and allows the Spirit to expand
to its Natural Boundless Spaciousness.
You have created a legacy of Love & Laughter that will
continue along in the ever-present moments forevermore…
Thus
Abiding in
Eternal Maui Marital Bliss
