The Simple Solution to Marital Distress – Part 3

Buddha’s Noble Eight-Fold Path – Integrate Right View and Right Intention with

“Right speech, Right Action, and Right Livelihood”

Before you speak or act out, ask yourself,

“Am I coming from a perspective of loving kindness?”

Or

Am I trying to sound good, impress someone, mislead or lie.

In pursuit of Right Livelihood

Strive for an occupation that will offer a noble service

free from deceit or the perpetuation of unwholesomeness.

The Buddha divides right speech into four components:

abstaining from false speech, abstaining from slanderous speech,

abstaining from harsh speech, and abstaining from idle chatter.

Speech can break lives, create enemies, and start wars,

or it can give wisdom, heal divisions, and create peace.

~ ~ ~

Lying is disruptive to social cohesion.

the Buddha concluded,

one should not speak a deliberate lie even in jest.

The opposite of slander, as the Buddha indicates,

is speech that promotes friendship and harmony.

Such speech originates from a mind of loving-kindness and sympathy.

It wins the trust and affection of others, who feel they can

confide in one without fear that their disclosures will be used against them.

The ideal antidote is:

Patience —

Learning to tolerate blame and criticism from others,

to sympathize with their shortcomings, to respect differences in viewpoint,

to endure abuse without feeling compelled to retaliate.

~ ~ ~

Abstaining from idle chatter.  

A Spiritual person avoids idle chatter and abstains from it.

He speaks at the right time, in accordance with facts,

speaks what is useful, his speech is like a treasure,

uttered at the right moment, accompanied by reason,

moderate and full of sense.

Idle chatter is pointless talk, speech that lacks purpose or depth.

Such speech communicates nothing of value,

but only stirs up the defilements in one’s own mind and in others.

The Buddha advises that idle talk should be curbed,

and speech restricted as much as possible

to matters of genuine importance.

‘Right Action’

Can again be summed up by what It is written that Jesus said:

“Do on to others as you would have them do onto you”.

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The Start of 2020

Our business was doing great, but we still couldn’t afford to buy a house or a condo. Renting in Maui for another 30 years was not an option we wanted to take. Then, Bobbie Jo suggested we buy a sailboat that is comfortable to cruise and live in. By the end of January, we started looking for our new home.

After a long search, we found our dream boat in Mazatlan, Mexico. COVID-19 was not yet a concern when our boat hunt began, but masks were starting to appear at airports by the time we flew to Mazatlan. Originally, we had planned to get the boat ready as fast as possible to cover a full calendar for the busy wedding season. However, it was apparent our business was going to tank amid the pandemic, and the struggle went on until the end of the year.

Luckily, we scored an awesome condo for only $19 a day at Mazatlan. On the 10th day of our stay, we received the news that all harbors will be closed the next Monday morning. We thought we’d be stuck in Mexico longer, but another sailor advised us to leave before sunrise.

We felt the adrenalin of escaping the Mexican harbor master just before the sun rose that faithful day. The seas were rough as waves were building up in the tight channel that led us to the open ocean. We ended up anchored off an adorable little isle just a mile offshore. We enjoyed cruising to many spectacular anchorages and cute villages on our way to Puerto Vallarta, where we would depart for Maui on May 7. On May 30, 2020, we completed our 24-day passage from Mexico to Maui.