I taught myself to meditate about 50 years ago when I was about 13.
I had these terrible migraine headaches which caused me to miss school.
The funny part is, once I learned I could get out of school because of a headache …
I’d often pretend to have these when I needed an extra day to study for a test…
I accredit whatever good grades I got back because of this 😉
But since it appeared that my headaches were more often than they were,
my parents sent me to a very big time head specialist…
My mom and I went in to his office or medical room.
Spoke a few words to my mom, and ask to wait in the waiting room.
He closed the door behind her…
A lot like how the bad-ass dude would no in a western bar fight.
He had an intimidating feel about him.
Somehow he got a feeling of the whole story,
that part of the time I had these really serious debilitating headaches…
and other times I may be making them up.
How he figured this out I had no idea, because I completely fooled my parents.
But when they came…
You can’t fake that.
He said to me:
Your headaches are all in your head.
So,
For a moment the smart-ass side of my was thinking…
“no shit… it’s an Fn head ach”.
But he went on.
He mentioned a bit about the brain, how it’s wrapped with a ‘covering’…
And that stress and tension can cause that stuff around the brain to contract…
He told me:
I need to find a way to release that tension.
Holy shamokes… he was intimidating.
But,
Effective.
I had a wild imagination… and,
Was reading about visualization and meditation…
But,
As a wee lad of 13, when these overwhelming headaches did truly come on…
I tried what Zen spoke of… don’t fight it…
Just let it be.
Then,
I started to visualize the space in my head where the pain was.
I visualized that I was a very little person inside this space.
This space seemed to be a wonder place…
like rolling grassy gardens, a pond, a small foot bridge arching over the pond…
But,
The whole scene was full of dark black smoke that was so thick
I couldn’t hardly make out the otherwise beautiful scene.
Then,
I recalled from science or health class that the top of the skull was not really solid,
it had plates that joined together.
I focused my attention on a connection of these plates at the crown of my head..
I then ‘zoomed’ in closer, to reveal that indeed there was a slight opening.
I zoomed in my focus more and notices that at that perspective…
I could see the sun’s light… but it was obscured by the dark smoke that represented my headache.
I then started to notice and or visualized the dark smoke escaping out that separation.
With each moment,
My headache was easing…
The dark smoke was rising out the crown of my head.
In less than 20 minuets of this visualization mediation that I stumbled upon…
My headache was at least 85% over.
And,
I was able to repeat this successively at least 70% of the time.
Within about 6 weeks, the headaches I had endured for years never came back.
————————
Another profound inspiration to pursue a Spiritual ‘Path’
A lifelong curiosity of the classic philosophical questions:
What is the meaning of my life,
all life, and
the connection between all that “Is’.
I had a burning desire to find the Ultimate un-dividable Truths
for these and other questions,
like:
What happens before and after this life.
What is the afterlife like.
The answers to all these questions have gotten much clearer…
But yet,
Remain ineffable.
As there is no experience in this life, other than full Enlightenment,
that offers any reference one normally experiences in this life
to offer a real tangible answer.
———————————————————-
But I think the most motivating inspiration is similar to
how most folks end up in the deep end of a Spiritual Path…
A life threatening despair from hitting dead end career opportunities
for far too long.
Life lost it’s meaning, and I saw I only had a short time before
I wouldn’t take it anymore.
But,
Before I go…
the answers to my lifelong questions and the pursuit to attain
the very deep end of a meditation practice along with
gaining the highest understanding of ‘Spirituality’…
Became my highest desires.
Not the ‘desires’ the Buddha calls defilements…
And,
It was not a form of ‘attachment’ or clinging…
which are defilements or distractions to the path….
But,
I gained a volition to take the Path to its fullest in a noble sort of way.
It saved my life and I hope that some of my ‘Insights’ have helped others.
I have not attained the full fruition of ‘the Path’…
However,
I gained the experience to know many ineffable Wisdoms
that I spent a lifetime seeking.
Even when one does attain full Enlightenment…
There is no end to what the conventional thinking mind
can learn right up to the last breath.
