Finally, we really begin to understand and surrender to the truth of things.
We begin to accept, at a deep level, the truth of our actual human lives
as they are.
All the “stuff” that the Dark Night may have brought up may still be going on,
but somehow it has lost its ability to cause real trouble.
Equanimity is much more about something
in the relationship to and among phenomena
than anything specific about the phenomena themselves.
It involves a real, down-to-earth, honest humanity,
a real acceptance of ourselves just as we are.
~~~
Figuring out how to manage the transition from Re-observation to Equanimity
is one of the big keys to practice.
Another key is to be real with yourself
and keep up a gentle investigation of the three characteristics
while you are being that honest in a broad and inclusive way
that remembers something called “space”.
Remember that space is just fine.
When in Re-observation you may think,
“This totally sucks! Dang, I really want to get to Equanimity!”
Feeling into that yearning,
being very clear and honest about how you are feeling and thinking,
as well as just continuing to practice, makes it all happen.
Those sorts of thoughts and feelings are totally normal:
when perceived clearly as they are,
they become the foundation of progress.
If they are not investigated gently at least somewhat at a basic sensate level,
you are likely to stay stuck for longer than you need to be,
as stated in “The Seven Factors of Awakening”
when I mentioned being stuck in hell:
this is what that section was referring to.
If your practice stays future-oriented, goal-oriented,
rather than just being with what is right now,
what you wish for will not happen easily.
~~~
In Equanimity, there is a settling in,
a rediscovery of what we seemingly always knew but temporarily forgot.
Equanimity can have a rough start, strangely enough,
as well as some mildly painful and irritating sensations,
but the meditator feels that some barrier has finally broken,
a weight has lifted, and practice can continue.
Equanimity can be such a relief after Re-observation
that it is very tempting to solidify it into the fourth shamatha jhana,
either because doing so is very nice or
because of fear of falling back to Re-observation, which can easily occur.
In this,
many will shift to modes of attention that are
much more in the realm of concentration practice,
being more about the positive qualities
than the three characteristics, meaning that
they stop investigating those and rest in the equanimity.
However,
as I continue to mention,
not gently investigating the qualities of this stage, such as
peace, ease, and a panoramic perspective,
prevents progress
and makes falling back to Re-observation more likely.
In fact,
falling back to Re-observation is quite common,
since important learning takes place in Re-observation,
as much as we may not like it.
The first vipassana jhana
(Mind and Body, Cause and Effect, Three Characteristics)
is about building up the basic skills of
identifying what a physical sensation is,
what a mental sensation is, how they are related,
and what the three characteristics feel like in practice:
of impermanence, unsatisfactoriness, and no-self.
The Arising and Passing Away (second vipassana jhana)
is about seeing these very clearly and profoundly
for the object of meditation
and its naturalness of presentation.
The Dark Night (third vipassana jhana)
is about these insights coming around to the background
and seeing more complex emotional and psychological constructs
of mental and physical sensations as they are.
The fourth vipassana jhana, meaning this stage, is about
seeing the true nature of even more
integrated, inclusive, subtle, and fundamental things such as
space, awareness, investigation, wonder, expectation, analysis, knowing, wanting, anticipation, peace, ease, questioning, subtle fear, subtle doubt, etc.,
in honest, complete ways that cut through the center
and include the background and foreground as well.
It is also about gently teasing out these strands into the field of awareness,
delicately, as though we were trying to coax out something fragile and shy.
~~~
I think of “core processes”
as those aspects of experience that most deeply form the basis of
the illusory sense of a “me” or “this” side of an investigator, a meditator,
a continuous being, something that could be there to make progress, acquire,
or attain something.
Seeing those at a sensate level is the opportunity presented in Equanimity,
and a remarkable opportunity it is for those who know what to do with it.
In Equanimity,
we can see the three characteristics in a way
that applies to the whole field of experience:
everything happens on its own, everything is shifting and ephemeral,
everything that involves a “this” that seems to be watching “that”
has this strange tension in it.
Allowing that wisdom to come through and show itself
naturally is key.
In Equanimity,
our practice may feel that it lacks the speed and precision of the A&P,
the drama of the Dark Night,
the delightfully free wonder of the earlier phase of Equanimity,
and as if it isn’t enough.
When High Equanimity happens,
it seems so ordinary that we may try to make it into something extraordinary.
If we are attached to ideals about how amazing, blazing, bright, dramatic, powerful, sensational, and thrilling practice is supposed to be,
we may keep seeking those qualities and prevent ourselves from
being with the very ordinary-feeling but clearly extraordinary stage of
High Equanimity.
Vibrations in the higher part of Equanimity
tend to be very different from how they were in earlier phases.
In the A&P they tended to be fine, fast, of one clean frequency
that tended to modulate its rate by the phase of the breath,
and either localized in one small area or spread out across our skin and the like.
In the Dark Night stages,
vibrations start slower (the shamanic drum-like beat of Fear)
and then later speed up, but in an edgy, irregular, irritating, complex way
that is around the edges of attention.
However,
in Equanimity, particularly as it develops out past the “chunky” phase,
vibrations tend to be slower, more flowing, more volumetric,
more about waves of moving attention-space-phenomena all together.
~~~
Equanimity is more inclusive, almost like
the graceful interpretative dance of attention and space creation itself.
Many people don’t really notice much about the vibrations or flow
and that is also okay.
It is much more a question of flow,
a shifting back and forth of attention like gentle waves on a beach,
like tracking a falling leaf,
like the easy settling of attention and phenomena into themselves on their own.
In Achaan Chah’s analogy,
practice is like sitting by a still forest pool in a jungle at twilight.
If you sit quietly,
all sorts of animals show up and drink from the pool
and vanish back into the shadows on their own
without you having to do anything.
Equanimity is like that for the whole field of experience all the way through,
including the pond, the forest, and yourself.
~~~
Experience phenomena arise and vanish on their own, where they are,
as they are, with no effort at all required to perceive them,
as they contain the perception as a part of their being sensations:
that is good practice advice in Equanimity.
As Equanimity progresses
it may feel like reality is trying to synchronize with itself, or that
subject and object are trying to synchronize with themselves,
catch up with each other , and align, or that this
side is trying to synchronize with all of space —
and that feeling is basically correct .
Gently investigate this feeling and any subtle, fluxing tensions in it
as lightly as possible, leaving plenty of space for it to do its
wide, flowing, easy, natural thing.
Trying to force it is natural:
feel this forcing, if it arises.
You could note “ forcing ” if that helps identify it.
Realize that you can’t do it, but, left alone, it may do itself.
Basically, the less you mess with it
and the more you just let it be and roll with it, the better.
Around this very mature part of Equanimity
the feeling that we are not really here can arise,
or that somehow we are completely out of phase with reality.
Conducting our ordinary business may be difficult in this phase
if we are out in the world rather than on the cushion,
but it tends to last only tens of minutes at most,
though rare reports involve it going on for somewhat longer.
The sense that we are practicing or trying to get anywhere just vanishes,
and yet
this may hardly be noticeable at all.
We sort of come back, with clarity again becoming more predominant.
Then we get truly lost in something, some strangely clear reverie,
vision, object, or flight of fancy .
By really buying in, we get set up to check out.
When understanding is completely in conformity with the way things are,
this is called … 12 . CONFORMITY
This article was Inspired by
Buddha’s step by step instructions to obtain Enlightenment
as refined by The Arahant Daneil M. Ingram.
Buy this book for Full Immersion!
