Medicine‘ for a ‘Mid Life Wife Crises’ or a ‘Groom of Doom Syndrome’

couple sitting together thinking about the future

Couples Mid-Marriage Inspirations

 Often when the excitement of the ‘Honeymoon’ fades into

the background of our everyday busy lives…

It often feels like there’s a bit of not being appreciated as much

as when there was a ‘hot pursuit of love’.

Most folks mistake their True Self to be their egos

which will hijack an ordinary non-issues into

a challenging roller coaster ride of rumination,  

with constant mistaken thoughts about how they feel like

the other person is purposely taking them for granted.

~ ~ ~

The more deeply one ruminates on their sensitive egos,

the more they create a story of how their loved one is

purposely trying to make them feel this way.

Often the partner has no clue of their insensitivities,

normally on account of the over whelming challenges of day-to-day life.

If you find yourself in the humdrums of a life

that seems to be missing what seems like

should be more meaningful inspirations…

then it’s likely a good time to start seeking a Path towards

what would make life make more sense.  

At some point in just about everyone’s life

there arises at least a few moments

that one ponders life’s more philosophic questions.

Like:

What is the meaning of my life?

What is my ‘purpose’?

When we feel like our ‘ship of life’ has become ‘rudderless’…

An emptiness tends to seep into our psyche.

The moment in one’s life that the inspiration to strive towards

the answers to these classic philosophic questions…

A personal Path towards those answers begins.

It turns out that regardless of being ‘religious’ or not…

It becomes a spiritual Path,

which has absolutely nothing to do with organized religions.

The first step on this Path is to inquire into Self Inquiry’.

Who am I?

The most important insights is

to acknowledge that ‘we’ are not our bodies…

Since the body does not follow ‘us’ after death,

this can’t be our Ultimate True ‘Self’.

~ ~ ~

Most folks mistake themselves to be their egos.

Our egos evolved along with the body

in order to help us survive in our early developing stages.

Always looking out for any dangerous situations,

like a predator or enemy.

As we evolved into a more social world,

our predators and enemies became our business partners or competitors,

or others in our tribe or neighboring villages.

We needed to sort out ‘friend or foe’ as soon as possible

in order to not get duped, mislead, or taken advantage of.

So now in modern life,

our fully empowered egos will constantly be working hard

at searching for any clue if someone is trying to harm us or take advantage of us.

Once we dive into our own ‘Self Inquiry’…

We will realize that we are NOT our egos.

Then we can begin to de-program ourselves

from automatically assuming the worse from others.

~ ~ ~

Pursuing this personal Path deeper,

One will learn that it is better to love and give unconditionally,  

with no expectation of reciprocal rewards.

This is the classic Buddhist perspective of ‘non-attachment’.

Having an attachment or an expectation of any sort of reward for giving or loving

is just another way we set ourselves up for being hurt.

~ ~ ~

When you humble your ego and learn to give and love unconditionally in this way,

You will immediately feel liberation of the pain and suffering

that we all inherently experience.

Taking that first step on one’s own personal Path towards

learning who ‘we’ really are, and the bigger picture of what life is really like…

Will lead to insights that make this life make a whole more sense.

Each step along this Path will make inspiring steps towards

a happiness that is not effected by

the materialist or egoic concerns of our modern challenges.

We will know that we can not have any attachment to the behavior of others.

We will soon begin to love everyone…

Unconditionally,

Even the ones that are ignorantly attempting to cause us grief.

We will wish them happiness, good health and to be safe and secure.

Once we are in that space to try this,

It will feel better than perpetuating the hate.

As we send love…

We feel that love.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

After pursuing these contemplations…

Consider a Maui Beach Vow Renewal to celebrate your commitment of Love.

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The Start of 2020

Our business was doing great, but we still couldn’t afford to buy a house or a condo. Renting in Maui for another 30 years was not an option we wanted to take. Then, Bobbie Jo suggested we buy a sailboat that is comfortable to cruise and live in. By the end of January, we started looking for our new home.

After a long search, we found our dream boat in Mazatlan, Mexico. COVID-19 was not yet a concern when our boat hunt began, but masks were starting to appear at airports by the time we flew to Mazatlan. Originally, we had planned to get the boat ready as fast as possible to cover a full calendar for the busy wedding season. However, it was apparent our business was going to tank amid the pandemic, and the struggle went on until the end of the year.

Luckily, we scored an awesome condo for only $19 a day at Mazatlan. On the 10th day of our stay, we received the news that all harbors will be closed the next Monday morning. We thought we’d be stuck in Mexico longer, but another sailor advised us to leave before sunrise.

We felt the adrenalin of escaping the Mexican harbor master just before the sun rose that faithful day. The seas were rough as waves were building up in the tight channel that led us to the open ocean. We ended up anchored off an adorable little isle just a mile offshore. We enjoyed cruising to many spectacular anchorages and cute villages on our way to Puerto Vallarta, where we would depart for Maui on May 7. On May 30, 2020, we completed our 24-day passage from Mexico to Maui.