The Simple Solution to Marital Distress – Part 1

Most of the issues in life,

we choose to martyr ourselves unnecessarily in pain & suffering.

The solution can be found in –

Basic Buddhism 101 – Prerequisite Unconditional Love.

To gain a deeper understanding of Buddhism,

Contemplate the titles of the Buddha’s Noble Eight-Fold Path.

Scroll down the page and Click on a title.

An in-depth introduction will drop down for Enlightening Wisdom.

For now, just be open minded to – The first Path

Right View’ or ‘Mindfulness’ is all that needs

to be taken to heart, to make a big difference in

the amount of pain and suffering we set ourselves up to endure.

‘Right Mindfulness’ –

Always come from a place of ‘Loving Kindness’.

If any thought should arise, ask yourself,

‘Is this a thought that makes me seem better than others,

am I boasting, self-serving,

is there any malice or revenge in these thoughts?

Are they thoughts of fear, distrust, unhappiness, revenge, hate, jealousy…?

Or any other egotistically inspired emotional reaction?

Always abide your thoughts in ‘Loving Kindness’.

Then,

Before you speak or act, repeat the questions above…

————————-

In all spiritual considerations for the ‘Ultimate goal’ –

“Self-Realization” is the way to begin this journey.

‘Self’ inquiry is necessary for … True Self-Realization.

When one does fully realize their True Self,

They are also fully liberated through those Wisdom’s

that dissolve all pain and suffering

caused by confused perspectives of mistaken identities with one’s egos.

Everyone can agree that whoever “we” are…

It’s not our bodies, we don’t take our bodies with us when we die…

The next most popular mis-believe of who “we” are

is our miss-association of ourselves as the various egos

that arise in place of our Mindfulness.

Most of us struggle with this part.

We are so strongly attached to our identity as

the egos that arise in us as reactive emotional outbursts…

that we become more and more willing to allow these

lower thought forms to manifest into real life pain and suffering

that grips us into an endless struggle for happiness

that gets pushed farther and farther away

with each reactionary impulse

that over-rides our common senses

and veils the perception of our True Nature.

~ ~ ~

Just step back and abide your thoughts with unconditional love.

Let your expressions towards others

come from an honest place of Loving Kindness.

As sure as you know that “we” are not our bodies…

We are not our egos.

So be mindful when in the grips of unhappiness, anxieties, fears, loathing, anger, jealousy, revengeful, hateful, trust issues…

If any of these or other egoistical reactive instincts pop up,

then already you should know…

the ego is driving the bus.

If one is not ready to acknowledge that

their egos seem to be driving the bus,

and cannot let go of their ‘pain identity’…

Most folks tend to identify themselves as their pain… Whoa is me… poor poor pitiful ME :-O

Then they are not ready for clear understandings & solutions.

If you have feelings of jealousy, anger, revenge,

distrust, general paranoia…

If you can realize these are just the symptoms of our egos…

Then great!

You can then simply dismiss them

along with the pain & suffering they caused.

~ ~ ~

Remember:

The Antidote to mis-trust… is Trust.

The Antidote to hate … is Love.

The Antidote to confusion … is communication.

And

it Must be Un-conditional.

~ ~ ~

The deeper one looks into this, the simpler it is.

Not to say it’s easy… it takes the

‘Right Effort’, a whole new Path.

One must find their Mindful ground and express themselves

with Loving Kindness and unconditional love.

When thoughts or situations arise in which

any of our reactive egos arise…

Identify these reactive egos as ‘not me’, then

don’t allow that mis-perception to influence

who you think you are.

Then there will be no need to look for trouble and torture yourself with all the

ego driven defense mechanisms that increase our agony

and keep peace further and further away.

~ ~ ~

This is only one step into the Buddha’s Noble Eight-Fold Path.

Allowing yourself an open mind and Humbleness is the first step,

forgiveness is next, then

patient Loving Kindness expressed in unconditional love

becomes your liberation from pain & suffering.

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The Start of 2020

Our business was doing great, but we still couldn’t afford to buy a house or a condo. Renting in Maui for another 30 years was not an option we wanted to take. Then, Bobbie Jo suggested we buy a sailboat that is comfortable to cruise and live in. By the end of January, we started looking for our new home.

After a long search, we found our dream boat in Mazatlan, Mexico. COVID-19 was not yet a concern when our boat hunt began, but masks were starting to appear at airports by the time we flew to Mazatlan. Originally, we had planned to get the boat ready as fast as possible to cover a full calendar for the busy wedding season. However, it was apparent our business was going to tank amid the pandemic, and the struggle went on until the end of the year.

Luckily, we scored an awesome condo for only $19 a day at Mazatlan. On the 10th day of our stay, we received the news that all harbors will be closed the next Monday morning. We thought we’d be stuck in Mexico longer, but another sailor advised us to leave before sunrise.

We felt the adrenalin of escaping the Mexican harbor master just before the sun rose that faithful day. The seas were rough as waves were building up in the tight channel that led us to the open ocean. We ended up anchored off an adorable little isle just a mile offshore. We enjoyed cruising to many spectacular anchorages and cute villages on our way to Puerto Vallarta, where we would depart for Maui on May 7. On May 30, 2020, we completed our 24-day passage from Mexico to Maui.